Wednesday, August 7, 2024

12 years, 12 lessons (Part 2 of 3)

5. In the words of (maybe) Walt Whitman via Ted Lasso, “stay curious and not judgmental.”

Since I spent months preparing a 10-minute talk on this point, I won’t belabor it here. But if I’m making a list of important lessons the last 12 years have taught me, this has to be one of them because I really believe that staying curious is a key to peace and happiness.

The Olympics offered several obvious examples of this lesson. Look no further than women’s boxing to see how making wrong assumptions can hurt innocent people and make you look like an ignorant jerk. I really hope I am minimally ignorant each day and on my best days, I hope I’m not ignorant at all.

6. Keep learning, always.

I try to be minimally ignorant by learning new things every day. Sometime in the last 12 years, I noticed a pattern emerge: there are people who keep learning and people who stop learning. (This has nothing to do with school, by the way.) The formal group grows intellectually and emotionally. They seem to have a far better chance at happiness. The latter group gets arrogant and stubborn. They seem to end up pretty unhappy.

How does this relate to sports? Oh, it relates in several ways I can think of, all of which are pretty controversial. During these Olympics, I’ve heard insults hurled about everything from the opening ceremonies to issues of the future of sport when it comes to gender issues. Sure, some of these issues are complicated. They involve values that may circle back to religion and I know religion can get, hum, should I say, prickly. But anger and violence often starts with people who refuse to open their minds to new perspectives, people who seem incredibly fearful of change. It seems like people with more open minds are far less angry and far less afraid, so even if I’m being selfish, it seems like keeping an open mind is the way to go.

7. I’m unapologetically putting my values before my people.

In the last few years, I’ve thought a lot about what loyalty means. Partly, I’ve done this because I live in Canton, and well, Canton’s kind of going through a thing right now. But no matter the reason, I have learned that there are lots of people who are really loyal to those they love. No matter what their loved ones do, they will stand behind them, at least, publicly, so I assume it’s privately, too.

I’ve figured out recently that I’m not like this. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t stand up for people I love, or even stand by them if they did something wrong; I hope I would do both. But I hope I’d support them while staying loyal to my values—things like truth, integrity, and empathy. Like if I love you more than anything and you lie, I’m standing on the side of truth. I won’t give up on you—far from it—but I’m not lying with you. We can work together to sort out the issues, but I’m not sacrificing my values. If I do, I’d be creating chaos in the world. And I don’t want more chaos for the people I love.

8. Sleep is really important. 

That's it. I really didn't know that 12 years ago. And now, I do, so I need to go to bed. 

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