Good Tunes

This morning, my internal wake up call came earlier than usual (3:45) so I tried to stay in bed and fall back asleep, at least until my new norm of 4:30. When that proved impossible, I took my seat at my computer. But I don't feel like writing much today. I have a busy day ahead -- after dropping the kids off for their first full day at school, I'll head into a 9 o'clock psych appointment at Dana Farber, then into work for the day for a few meetings (really, I just miss people there desperately and grasped at a few good excuses to venture into the office).    

So instead of writing, I've been up for a few hours watching YouTube videos and reading the lyrics of  songs that you have shared with me over the past few weeks. I've always loved belting out a tune in the shower or in my car, and my kids are used to me breaking out in ridiculous song and dance every now and then (at age four, Teddy is already embarrassed by me -- I love it!), but I never knew the real therapy that music can provide until now. Since my "Rocking and Rolling" post, I find myself listening to the songs you sent and reading (and re-reading) the powerful lyrics. Different songs have helped me through different moments. Thank you for those gifts. 

This morning, I came across a few videos in particular that capture my emotions at this early hour, just two days away from my surgery, and one day away from the anniversary of September 11th. I've pulled out a few of my favorite lyrics from each one below.  No matter how many times I hear these songs, they mean something more to me every time.  

"The Heart of Life"

John Mayer

Pain throws your heart to the ground

Love turns the whole thing around

No it won't all go the way it should

But I know the heart of life is good

You know, it's nothing new

Bad news never had good timing

Then, circle of your friends

Will defend the silver lining

"The Rising" 

Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band

Can't see nothin' in front of me

Can't see nothin' coming up behind

I make my way through this darkness

I can't feel nothing but this chain that binds me

Lost track of how far I've gone

How far I've gone, how high I've climbed

On my back's a sixty pound stone

On my shoulder a half mile line

Come on up for the rising

Com on up, lay your hands in mine

Come on up for the rising

Come on up for the rising tonight